In the case of faith as confidence there is a living reason to be confident. You do not expect that there will be a prefabricated solution mysteriously presented to you. You work with existing situations without fear,
without any doubt about involving yourself. This approach is extremely creative and positive. If you have definite confidence you are so sure of yourself that you do not have to check yourself. – Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

I made a pledge after Professor Gandhi passed away that every year I am living in India I would honor his memory by circumambulating the sacred Arunachala Mountain in Tamil Nadu. My last trip while based in India was New Years Day 2011. What follows is an e-mail I sent out shortly after my second circumambulation of the mountain and first pradakshina after his death.

The day after I had returned from my yatra to Tiruvannamalai I had the wonderful opportunity to hear Sharon Salzberg speak about "Faith" at the India International Center. Sharon is a very well known Buddhist teacher in the United States and she is in Delhi this week to attend the Sunyata training given by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. If you are interested in questions surrounding faith from a Buddhist perspective (and her book is like her talk) then her book Faith, Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience would be a great read. She also mentioned a Stephen Batchelor book, The Faith to Doubt: Glimpses of Buddhist Uncertainty which seems like an interesting read as well.

This past weekend in Tiruvannamalai I thought a lot about "faith" and it seemed only fitting that I would arrive back in Delhi only to attend this particular talk. I completed a parikrama/pradakshina (circling a worshipped or revered place) during the full moon around the sacred Arunachala Mountain with thousands of other pilgrims. What drew thousands of pilgrims to this particular place? Why have I not had a strong desire to visit Tirupathi and many other "holy sites" in India? I came to Buddhism and nondual philosophy because I didn't believe in blind faith and never really connected with the Hindu rituals and practices I grew up with and strongly identified with humanism. But both the Buddha and Sri Ramana Maharshi provided me with the tools I need to question, inquire and discover "abiding faith" so I now appreciate, understand and even love the rituals though it still is not my preferred form of practice.

Amidst all of the chaos in my dear mentor's (Ramu Mama) life his faith was unshakable and I believe this is because he was a firm believer in the method of Self-Inquiry and employed the correct style of questioning needed for what Sharon Salzberg calls, "verified faith." Ramana Maharshi provides an excellent form of questioning in his teaching "Who Am I." I read this again for the hundredth time when I was in Tiruvannamalai but this time as I was meditating in the caves I finally (gosh, it took me long enough!) realized just how brilliant his method is. Ramana Maharshi much like the Buddha didn't want others to just believe what he said. He wanted them to practice and discover it all for themselves. Faith isn't something you have or you don't. Rather, real faith is something you come to through self-inquiry, wisdom and questioning.

In Sharon Salzberg's discussion of faith she distinguished between different stages of faith and talked a lot about "bright faith." Bright faith is something I think we have all experienced (even for a moment). From what I understood it involves having faith in the awakening of oneself and the capacity of the human heart and mind. Bright faith occurs in those moments where we discover the breathtaking view of human possibility and of not being stuck. It is a sense of boldness and daring to imagine you can live in a different way. She felt that "bright faith" is what we experience when we first fall in love and it can be intoxicating. Sharon told a great story about a letter Bruce Springsteen had written when Bob Dylan was first inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Springsteen recalled the first time he heard Dylan's music. He was a young boy in the car with his mom listening to the radio and it was as if "a giant boot had come down and kicked open the door of his mind." I think we have all had moments like this but how do you transform "bright faith" into "verified faith" and not fall into fear, doubt or "blind faith." How can you be fearless and have certainty? I think all you can really do is practice just like the Buddha and Ramana Maharshi and slowly but surely that unshakable faith will come and then you can understand the nature of possibilities and take risk with ease. Sharon Salzberg mentioned how important it is to use the investigative power to deepen our faith and my mentor Ramu Mama said the same thing. He thought that his spiritual hero Ramana Maharshi was the reincarnation of a great Greek philosopher! She also said something along the lines of "abiding faith is not a dogmatic holding of a belief. You investigate so deeply that you embody the belief." Essentially, you become a deep embodiment of lived values that have been investigated and explored and this is what made Ramana Maharshi, the Buddha and my mentor Ramu Mama so very special.

As you climb to the caves where Ramana Maharshi lived for some years there is a spot on a cliff (on the way to Skandashram) where you have the most breathtaking view of Tiruvannamalai and the Arunachala Temple. This being my second trip to Tiruvannamalai I only spent time in the places that I find most special to me which are this particular spot on the mountain and the caves. According to the legends Shiva appeared on the Holy Hill as a column of light in order to settle a dispute between Brahma and Vishnu and it serves as one of the five most holy sites for Lord Shiva in all of South India but my connection with this pilgrimage site is due to my interest in Ramana Maharshi and Self-Inquiry. As I was leaving the Sri Ramana Maharshi Ashram a dear friend I came with told me that she found out that my teacher, Ramu Mama's ashes were sprinkled all over the mountain and this reaffirmed my pledge to visit the mountain every year while I am in India to pay my respects to him. I am so grateful for all that he has opened my eyes, ears and heart to.

At the end of Sharon Salzberg's talk I asked her to speak to nonduality and bhakti since she runs retreats with Krishna Das (a favorite musician of mine that I always try to see when he is in my area). I found it very interesting that a teacher of Buddhist meditation would run retreats with a kirtan master like Krishna Das but she said, "Remember that distinctions are not divisive and there are many ways of opening the heart."

On the ride to Tiruvannamalai from Chennai my dear friends and I engaged in a fascinating discussion about fate and free will and of course when I arrived in my room at the Ashram the following quote was on my door: "The debate "Does Free Will prevail or Fate, is only for those who do not know the root of both. Those who have known the Self, the common source of Free Will and of Fate, have passed beyond them and will not return to them. " – Ulladu Narpadu – 19

The quote just reaffirms the importance of dedicated practice.

I also managed to briefly visit Auroville for the third time (an incredibly unique experiment in human unity close to Pondicherry), Aurobindo's Ashram and the Theosophical Society (in an area of Chennai called Adyar) where many brilliant minds have spent extended periods of time. I definitely need to return and spend more time in these places.

Yesterday I took my students to a phenomenal Raghu Rai exhibit at the National Gallery of Modern Art "The Journey of a Moment in Time." Seeing his work is like having a "giant boot" continuously "come down and kick open the door to my mind." If you ever get a chance to look at his work please do. For Rai "the camera is an instrument of learning. When you look through it, you start achieving a kind of concentration. In these concentrated moments you can penetrate and discover the unseen—the unknown. It's a learning of the self and the world."

Sending you lots of love, warm wishes and eternal blessings!

In Faith :)

Meena